10 life-changing ways to build self-esteem.

When I was little I was fearless. 

I made friends easily, I talked to people easily and I associated being around people as a positive thing. I had no issues with self-confidence and I knew that it was fun being around other people. 

Around the age of 11 things changed. I became self-conscious and convinced that I was too weird for people to like me. I didn’t feel like I fitted in anywhere and started to withdraw.

Fast forward 25 years and I woke up one day and realised that I was in a relationship that was toxic and living a life that was destroying me. From the outside everything looked great! I had a beautiful son, a husband, a lovely house and I enough money. ​

But on the inside I was desperately unhappy. My self-esteem and self-worth were at an all-time low, I was suffering with anxiety and the worst thing was I thought this was how life was supposed to be. 

I had also become a very sarcastic and defensive person who (without realising) was constantly trying to keep everyone away from me as if they were a threat to my survival. So I was unable to truly be emotionally intimate with anyone. I was quite lonely and very needy.

Looking back, I could see that every single decision about my narcissistic and toxic relationships, friendships, work, family and environment had been negatively affected and influenced by my lack of self-esteem. I just didn’t think I was worth anything more and I also felt compelled to help the emotionally wounded people around me. All. The. Time.
How did I get here? How did I start off being that outgoing and fearless little girl and end up afraid, fearful, self-hating and self-doubting woman? There was very little about myself that I liked!

But I was so wrong.

Many Highly Sensitive People lack self-esteem and self-love, and this is the root for most of the challenges we face. 

We are exceptionally influenced by how others view us, what others think of us and react towards us. It’s as if our value in this world is dictated by others because we can feel their feelings so strongly…as if they’re our own. 

Not being able to work out who’s feelings belong to whom is a big issue. Self-esteem and self-love are one of the most important things that as an HSP we must cultivate. 

I bet if you take a look at your parents, people around you and your closest friends you’ll notice that this would resonate with them too. You are not alone. 

How can I tell if I have low self-esteem? 

- You don’t regard yourself highly.
- You make poor personal decisions.
- You have an inferiority complex.
- The people you surround yourself with are draining and not uplifting.
- You defer to other people to make choices for you.
- You struggle to make any self-improvements for yourself.

But I want to remind you of a few things:

☀️You are unique. 
☀️You are loved.
☀️You are spiritual being having a human experience.
☀️You are enough.
☀️You are deserving.
☀️You are worth it.
☀️You can do this. 


👉🏻Here are my 10 things that truly help build self-esteem:

1 – Become mindful. What you’re doing and when you’re doing it.
2 – Own it. Own your sensitivity and empathy and celebrate this quality.
3 – Self-Kindness. Learn to be self-kind towards yourself. In words, thoughts and deeds.
4 – Be on your own team. Celebrate your uniqueness, weirdness, quirks and qualities!
5 – Be a positive Creator. Recognise you can cause and create your situation and reality.
6 – Honour. Practice treating your needs with honour and respect. They matter.
7 – Carve out time. Carve out time for yourself every damn day. You need it.
8 – Passions. Stop putting off your passions. If not now, then when?
9 – Sit still. Meditate and learn to turn inwards for your answers and not outwards.
10 – Random acts of kindness. Self-esteem comes from doing esteemable acts. 

Remember, your self-esteem is the greatest gift you can give yourself.

“Stop acting small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion”. - Rumi
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Which 3 of the 10 points above will you start doing today? Comments below x