How To Not F*ck Up A Highly Sensitive Child

This newsletter is dedicated to all the people who surround us at any given moment who help us to uncover and unmask our illusions so we can heal. I am so grateful to you. 

Let me tell you a little story…
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3 months ago my best friend fell pregnant and it triggered me enormously…

​not because I wasn’t happy for her but because I hadn’t finished healing the overwhelm I’d experienced being a first time highly sensitive parent to a highly sensitive child.

I am an emotional person, I have found parenting the most challenging and intense experience of my life. It has pushed me to places within myself that I never (ever) wanted to go and yet because of my drive to not f*ck up my son I have had to.

In the process of not wanting to damage him emotionally, I have learned how to help myself heal. I have written a post before on what impact he has had on my life which you can find here. 
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6 years ago I had no idea that I was a highly sensitive person, nor had I ever heard of that term. I knew I was intense, demanding, thin-skinned, I took things seriously and had a tendency to be overly emotional - a trait I put down to being Mediterranean! Ha ha.

Many babies born today are very highly sensitive compared what they were 30 years ago, they are a new blueprint of energy on this earth and  I was not prepared to be a parent to one of these babies.

I spent  most of the first 4 years of my son’s life feeling like I was flying by the seat of my pants. He didn’t follow any of the ‘rules’ and sometimes I nailed it and other times I crashed and burned - mostly burned. 

My type-a personality made me read hundreds of books, of which 99% of them created more fear, more drama and more overwhelm. 

From the moment he was born I felt total and utter overwhelm. The sense of responsibility was enormous and I also didn’t have the emotional and physical toolkit to support myself either. I had a diet of chocolate and cheese - which made my nervous system inflamed and aggravated. I felt worse than awful.

I had no idea, at all, how to deal with all of this. My parents were very supportive but they couldn’t understand what was going on either.

As I watch my son grow and develop into a truly beautiful boy, I realise that these children are showing us just how much this world isn’t set up for them (or us).

• They get overwhelmed at school 
• They struggle with too many demands and too much homework 
• They suffer with stress and anxiety at a very young age 
• They need much physical contact with their parents  
• They need to move and expel energy 
• They need quiet time to recharge and relax
• They need less sugar and more fruit
• They need less wheat and more veggies
• They need less cordial and more water
• They need us to be their guardians and back up.
• They need time.

We can also replace ‘They’ with ‘We’.

Our world is (currently) not set up for those of us who are highly sensitive and so often we feel like outsiders in our own environments. 

And yet…the only thing that stops us is ourselves. How kind are we to ourselves? How nurturing are we to ourselves? Are we looking after our sensitivities and our hearts? 

If we can help ourselves then we can teach our little ones how to do the same. 

What I’ve found is that we each need a toolkit for ourselves as their parents and for our children in order to thrive. 

I won’t lie - most of the time I find this exhausting and I’d rather be on the sofa watching This Is Us on tv with my maple syrup popcorn. But then I watch my son sleeping and I realise that this sense of duty and enormous love I have for him drives me  to keep going.

Here’s what’s worked for us:

• Sleep. This topic can make the most sane person become insane but being sensitive to the fact that my child isn’t ‘naughty’, he just needs a nap. Also getting him to bed early and read stories truly helps calm us both down.
• Eating - sensitive kids are sensitive to sugar, wheat and mostly dairy. By reducing/ eliminating these foods from their diets you will find a much calmer, less manic and much more grounded kid who probably will have been skin, attention and behaviour.
• Touch. Drew was always recharging himself on my lap. He would touch base with me and then go again. Being in my energy helped his confidence. I also had to be aware that sometimes I would need some time out from being over-touched and needed someone to take over for a little while. 
• Words. Drew is very, very sensitive to tone of voice and to words I use (and so am I!). He doesn’t like being told off and so I’ve learned a completely new way of talking to him. It’s now much more communicative and less “it’s my way or the high way”. Also the words that I use stick to him and so I’m always careful to use language that uplifts rather than shames.
• Smell. These children are also very reactive to toxins and chemicals in our food and in our environments.. They are showing us all the places where we have imbalances. ​I have found that doTERRA essential oils have become a very big part of our lives. They not only emotionally support both of us but have detoxed our home.
• Here are some of the ways I use them:
  • Lavender oil and Epsom salts in the bath
  • Balance oil and Copaiba on the temples and in the diffuser before school and during times of stress or overwhelm (for both of us)
  • On guard and tea tree for colds on the feet and in the diffuser.
• Nature. Less screen time and more being outside in nature. It has the most powerful effect on rebalancing the nervous system and calming everyone down - especially in trees and fresh ocean water.

It’s time to recognise that the traits and behaviours we have are our super powers but we must create our own toolkits in order to thrive!


You are awesome, strong and beautiful person. We need you to remember ❤️